Writing blogs kind-of does my head in. I don't think anyone could possibly be interested in these posts, and the low-engagement of "free-to-play" social media doesn't make me feel there's a big enough audience to even write to.
Finding direction this year has been a little tricky, I burnt out on Zanbul at the beginning of the year, totally bummed that I still have so much to do, totally wondering if anyone cares, and totally forgetting how to draw because I want to and not because I had better do it if I don't want to be homeless.
SO, I started another Tarot deck, because why not cure burnout on a long-term project with another long-term project, right? Makes sense.
After a couple of months of that, I started making little circles of art (which I believe you can see some of in the post immediately below this one) because I needed to do some art that didn't have some huge base of work it depended on sequentially, or otherwise.
On top of all this, I still get emails about the Ellis decK companion book - it's a pile of .rtf documents that may see the light of day sometime. The truth is - it will cost money to print and I basically do this and odd jobs for a living, which financially rules out the possibility of having a print run soon.
I'm struggling with my depression, which is basically like spending all of your time sharing your head with the most negative person in the world, who tells you there is no point to any of the projects, points out you never finish anything, and serves to remind you that, again, none of this is going to make you much money at all, and could possibly just cost you money.
I'm doing my best. Right now, I'm finding some peace in working on all three projects in some kind of tandem, reminding myself I DID actually finish the Ellis decK so I might be capable of finishing something else, and doing part-time work to help keep us fed and in rent.
I'm doing my best.
7/23/2018 01:44:55 pm
Your best is good enough - hang in there, friend.
7/25/2018 08:40:19 am
Hey Taylor, I think you need a visit to Hemphill or Montgomery to help out! It makes me sad to read about what you are dealing with. Keep up that spirit of yours and remember there are a lot of people who love you!
7/24/2018 10:24:23 am
I hope you know how much of a brilliant influence you are. I'm amazed at your insight and creativity. I have no idea how you do it! One day at a time and there's nothing wrong with not finishing every project. Doesn't mean you won't get back to it eventually unless you choose not to!
7/25/2018 06:54:52 am
7/24/2018 01:19:52 pm
You and your work are admired far and wide, Taylor. You are loved and appreciated for who you are, not just for what you create, although the two are intermingled. You've birthed something beautiful and treasured, and that's a rare accomplishment. Enjoy this next leg of the journey -- whatever you are working on, and regardless of what you do or don't end up producing -- and take care of yourself in the process. Sending hugs from afar!
7/24/2018 03:15:06 pm
Hello, I’m a new member and have various health issues Bipolar Disorder being one of them. I lately had a breakdown. I kept telling myself that tomorrow will be better. That’s my hope. Without hope you have nothing. It’s not easy, but it kept me alive all of these years.
7/24/2018 05:03:02 pm
Have you considered selling via little red tarot?
7/25/2018 03:55:42 am
I agree with you, Sianna. This incredible deck definitely needs more exposure. Do you have suggestions for how we can help get the word out on Taylor's behalf?
Gregory Jackson Haley
7/25/2018 09:00:39 am
How much would it cost to publish the book you desire?
7/30/2018 11:34:55 am
I think I answered this over on facebook?
7/25/2018 02:36:05 pm
I just wanted to thank you for your art (it adds beauty to the world) and your tarot reading (you’re a fantastic old-school psychologist). Hugs from kindergarten and college and adulthood.
7/30/2018 11:35:40 am
:) Thank you Laurie!!
8/15/2018 11:47:12 pm
A new tarot deck!! Yay!! I agree w others that little red tarot brings a lot of attention to different decks these days. A kickstarter for it would be great too (or for the book) Or patreon... I hope you do one more release of the larger bordered plastic too - missed that one. Hope you find yourself on the other side of the depression cycle soon
11/3/2018 08:12:36 am
Taylor I would love to buy one of your tarot decks, please let me know when they become available.
1/29/2020 07:47:19 pm
I just finally received my copy of the Ellis deck today. It's two years after your post--but I want you to know of the great happiness, spiritual awakenings, and peace you have brought into this world. Your art is unique, it's your own, yet you share it with all of us. That takes a brave, noble, heroic soul. Thank you for it all.
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